Diary of shopkeeper

Dear Death,

I am scared of you, so scared that it keeps my steps bleeding to revert back, to retreat Life & solace again... Dear death ! I am talking with you where are you ?.... Why aren't you answering me ? I always believed in your existence. I have always cursed life. For it failed to provide me a glass full of water. I have left life a long back when I heard that fairy tales were just tales and fictious. Whenever I believed something that gave me happiness, my faith was shattered by the same people who gifted me those story books.. Dear death where are you ? Can I get you through suicide ? But people say that one who suicides become ghosts. I am scared to be a ghost, so I wouldn't dare to be ghost even the purpose is to see you. So, what next??
How to see you, where to see you ? Are you unseen god ? What are you death ?... But my age is increasing day by day.. I am being old, I want to see you. See death ! One thing is for sure that I am very impatient. If you don't show up right here and now, I will forget you, I will be no more scared of you...
Have you made-up your mind ? Now I feel that you truly don't exist, or even if you do.. I hardly care.. And now as I see no reason to be scared of you... Since you can't appear, no the god appears... I can know now only, that I am taking breath.. I am alive, I am inlove with my wife.. I have lovely children.. Here it is as far I see is what I was moving away from.. Here is life..
Death is a word now, with no adjectives...

The shopkeeper